I wish I was straight and simple

Stuck myself into a stupid scenario again. Two days ago, I tell myself to stop all the attention to her, and I was insomnia that night. But the next day, i feel better, we hang out and i ask her the things i wanna to ask. She says they are still friend.. and i believe. And now, i had heart sinking and breaking moments. I hate it.

I'm now doing stupid things, i.e waiting for her to come back. What i expect? Ntg. To use this as an indicator for truth or lie? I don't know. I don't want to lie to my feelings. I know that I love you. And yet I can't show it. I'm too serious now too, I can't even get back to the relax relationship before.

It's terrible. Why? Why me? Why I'm always in love in ppl who does not love me? i just want to be loved, i tried to love every ppl around me. But why? I'm always hurT?

i actually don't want to fake that I'm just only your friend in front of you. But I know you can't take my love. And I choose to step away, but somehow, i still get hurt.

Hell, these love will turn me into a hatred person one day. Please stop it!!! I felt I'm more to devil side right now, arghhh... stop their love pls!!!!! I JUST HATE SEEING THEM!! OR KILl MY LOVE, TRANSFORM ME INTO A FAKE COLD BLOODED PERSON, I'M TOO KIND AND I GOT NOTHINGS BACK!!!

情非昔比.前奏.

情
亲情 友情 爱情

爱
友爱 同性爱 异性爱

情与爱 为何可以如此变化无常
由爱转恨 由恨转爱
变化得 令人措手莫及

我爱你

一个月以前，此‘爱’指的是带有点亲情的友爱

一个月以后，此‘爱’变成了同性之爱

是我之前没发现，我早已爱上了你；抑或是此刻的我混淆了我对你的爱？

Shit! Why i have to pain twice?!?!

The similar pain, recurs.

Though not the same ppl, but the pain is the same, this time even harsher. I'm seeing their sweet part, and aside heart-aching.

That's wht i hate crush, my every crush is so bitter. I just want someone love me, why so hard?

Maybe i should forget about love, cheers for free and single. Peace, no bitter no sweet, no sorrow and heartbreaks.

累了

最近真的累了，身体上，精神上，好多好多问题与事情接着来，让我神经超紧绷.就快窒息了。

先是考试，再来是assignnment,还有今年就一直在我脑海删除不去的林嘉敏。这些已经都够烦了，回到家，还是没得休息，还要烦上加烦的妹妹还有处处跟我作对的printer,一直要我控制脾气的家人，

真的是郁闷得快爆了！










现在真的有种何处是我家的感觉。回到家累上加累的感觉真的让我很想撞墙！我现在竟然有了‘待在宿舍更好的感觉‘。真的真的好累好郁闷。情绪，不是一种你假装很快乐，它就会很快乐的一种东西。我需要的是让我心情变好的东西，而不是无谓的控制与强制催眠。

不过，真的谢谢你们俩，至少帮我减轻了我一个烦恼。 <3你们，嘻嘻！！

最近就是想恋爱啦！！

我想，我的发情期到了，最近真的超想谈恋爱的，可是又不好意思太高调，所以只好在这边低调地post一下。

连我自己都很难解释，我为何如此想谈恋爱，可是心里就是想谈一场轰轰烈烈的恋爱。
（我最近变得如此三八及幼稚，是不是也跟这个有关系啊？）

而且，真的有点他妈的的说，我以前明明告诉人家我不可能会嫁给医生的，现在让我有好感的那两位，一个是未来医生，一个已经是专科医生，真是他妈的。

上天真爱作弄我，举凡我说不可能的，它都要让我尝试一下。之前说决不会喜欢女生的，都让我试过了，现在这个又来？？？

不管怎么说，我就是想恋爱啦！